hotchillispice

Tell me where to go What to swallow Where to cut. Lashes drenched Cheeks stained Heart soaked Until the brim. The walls are so high So thick An illusion of safety But now its those same walls That suffocate me My nails worn out My fingers bleed And I can't seem to tear them down. My mind is cloudy Drowning in incessant screams The walls are hollow Bearing a kaleidoscope of scars All the vituperation Renders my throat all sore But I can't seem to stop the noise. Its all a trap The whole damn world Its all a lie Even those without the masks The words are like smoke Feeble and insignificant The promises rust And crumble Under the lightest t

I wander astray No, I'm not lost The confidence, rippling Fooling the crowd. I don't need a mask Not anymore I've worn one so long It embodies my soul. It's funny How easy it is To fool the world. Then again, Why wouldn't it be, I strut around bodies Who don't have a care in the world. Here and there sometimes I catch a glimpse Of a shiny little soul And I know They wander too With no hope anymore. We cross paths sometimes And something sparks At the end of the tunnel. But we're both the same In a state of lost faith And we run At the first sense of pain. With some its more, We find each other And cling tight. That's probably what Keeps me

The little girl, Inside of me, Watched with fear, As the bars around her, Had strengthened over time. As every right choice, Was trampled upon. As every cry for help, Every scream for escape, Was muted and reduced, To tears that scarred her soul. The small girl, was Trapped in her own Battered childhood, Which she re-lived Every second of the day. She watched her older self Rust and rot and shrivel, Eventually crumbling to dust, In a world without a care. She looked on helplessly, With tears storming her face, To the woman, Who was numb now, With a stone heart, And one wish in her lips. To find release in death. Simply existing in the secon

Pain is a funny thing, The thought making you cringe; I always wished if I felt pain, It would be your tinge. My reflection glared back at me, An old gash across my cheek; It still quivers under my touch, Where your ring claimed the bloody streak. My gaze fell to my hands, My palm reveals a stab incision; Haunted by the gleam in your eyes, You and your knife had such great vision. I wince as I extend my neck, My collarbone reveals your canine prints; The scent etched in my brain, Of our shared breath mints. You struck a match, I reveled in the singe; Disgusted. Rage. You abandoned me, The door flew off its hinge. I miss yo

You pick your favorite tie, your eyes dark, filled with craving. Staring at the floor, I dare not meet your gaze, Panting, But terrified all the same. I hold up my wrists, And you move swiftly with talent. I kneel before you, My blood boiling, Your fist in my hair. I tilt my head back, Your lips, Scorching my skin. My vision now compromized, I feel hollow and lost. Desire, Coursing through my veins. And then it comes, A single hard blow. My body wrenches, My flesh sizzles, My scream echos. Beads of sweat, Cold against my skin, Collecting in the small of my back. I know I can do it, For you my love, But thirty six

I saw you for the first time, My heart stopped in a moment of wonder, But what I thought was a moment, Seemed to go on forever. Your beautiful silhouette, So gracefully claiming the earth. Your deep blue eyes, So calm and so serene. Its five months now, You barely notice me, An occasional glace, Keeps the fire blazing within me. Why don't you see the intensity in my stare? Why don't you see the longing in my eyes? Why don't you feel the heat from my body? Why don't you hear the sound of my smoke? And then, Only one thought I succumb to, Maybe I'm not perfect enough for you. Its a year now, and nothing has changed. Except

Dear Hunter,                I finally realize what is meant by hunters love to play with their pray. You've exhausted me as much as your foul mind would allow you to. I remember your hands all over me and all I would feel like was filth. Your smell was so intoxicating at first. But then eventually it would bring dread and horror. And ofcourse. How could I forget your eyes. Those round black pupils. They would cut right through my skin, making it crawl.                I remember sitting on the bed infront of you as you paced up and down. You would tell me about how you used to watch me in my classes or at the mall. You mentioned how my fin

Its another hard day, Relentless night, Silenced to suffer all that is inflicted. In my bed I cry, On and on, And wonder why. I realize that I don't fit, I can't breathe, I feel like a fish out of water. Chained physically and mentally, Yearning, craving, Silently begging, To venture into the world outside. All my dreams are put aside, For all I wish now is to break free. The day seems so close, Yet just out of reach. Memories buried inside, Trying hard to keep them drowned, But as my soul gets tainted, A little everyday, The darkness draws me toward it. I hold the blade in my hand, Staring through teary eyes, Vision b

I hit rock bottom, There is no pain as i crash land, You made the journey so sweet, I didn't realize. Here I am now, At this fork in the road, Introspecting, looking back. Those fine words, That would make me blush crimson, Those moments, That I couldn't help but, surrender to the butterflies. The movie stubs, I so carefully kept. And then we hit a bump, Which for the sake of my life I can't understand why. I felt my smile turn to tears, And with each tear, I let a little bit of you go. You're words changed, Meaningless. The butterflies, Flew away. You crumple the movie stubs, Breaking my heart into a million pieces.